Health & Medical Self-Improvement

Finding the Calm After the Storm

Feeling the impact of someone else's outburst can be as devastating as getting hit with a physical force.
When someone is angry and the force of his anger is directed at you, it may not be possible to avoid the attack, or even diffuse the situation.
But it is possible and necessary to recover.
Let's consider avoiding the attack and diffusing the situation first.
For some people anger is a response to feeling like they are not getting what is rightly theirs, whether it is attention, respect, credibility or something else.
People get angry for many reasons and sometimes rightly so.
You may or may not have the skill and the tools to help someone whose tension is escalating.
Don't argue.
Sometimes just acknowledging that they are upset and asking what you can do that might help the situation is enough for the other person to get it that you are not the enemy.
Even if you feel that you are "right" and they are "wrong" you have to ask yourself if the fight is worth it.
Let's say you are around someone who is out of control.
Their voice is raised, they're swearing, their muscles are tense, maybe they're even turning colors.
As soon as you are able to extricate yourself from the situation that is at best unpleasant and possibly dangerous, you need to take care of yourself.
Just being the recipient of verbal abuse can cause your muscles to tense, your heart to race, your blood pressure to rise and a host of other stress responses.
Find a place to sit down where it is safe and quiet.
Close your eyes and take a series of slow deep breaths.
Mentally note if you are holding tension in any of your muscles.
Choose a color you find relaxing.
Some people like sky blue or or some other light, clear color.
Beginning at the top of your head, imagine that colored light shining down on you and bathing you.
Imagine your muscles are absorbing the color and relaxing.
Continue to take deep breaths and imagine you are breathing in that relaxing color.
Surround yourself and fill yourself with the color.
Let the chair hold the weight of your body.
Imagine letting go, breathing out tension and breathing in relaxation.
Focus only on your breath and the color.
Take as much time as you need.
When you feel calm.
Stand up.
Shake yourself off the way a dog shakes to dry off.
Imagine any droplets of anger that are clinging to you are shaking free.
Be refreshed.
Let it go.

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